Soviet Russia
by Hungary-chan
Summary: In Soviet Russia heartbreak still hurts. From Russia's and Germany's point of view. What I think Russia and Germany truly feel, the side that no other country sees... Mention of WWII and blood. Yaoi! M because of bloody war  sorry fangirls not major yaoi
1. Hurtful past

Soviet Russia

~Russia

In Soviet Russia heart break still hurts. All of my life no one ever wanted to be my friend. Even now everyone fears me. I don't know how to make friends at all… Even Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia fear me… I try and talk to them, but sadly they keep running away… I have heard whispers that I have a dark aura behind me, but that's just a ghost following me… I can't make it go away…I thought that Germany could be my friend, but our bosses hate each other so I can't see him anymore. My house is always so lonely, and very cold… I dream of running threw a warm field of sunflowers! It's so cold in Russia that when I try to grow sunflowers... they just die… Just like my hopes of ever getting a friend.

~Germany

I can't express my German pride. Every were I go outside of Deutschland people glare. I can never escape my past… Although mein former boss has killed himself, and it's been many years since it ended I still get death glares of hatred. Everywhere I turn I hear "Oh your German? You evil Nazi." Or "Jewish hater…" Along with other things. Will the hate of other countries ever end? Will I ever be able to fix what has been broken? Italien's boss tells him to watch out. I can never forget the faces, the pain… I never wanted to do it! Of course people will ask me "If you never wanted to do it than why is there the blood of innocent people on your hands?"

Do they not see the pain in my eyes? Can they not feel my hurt? I should have died on that battle field. I should have fought back, and never let him take control. They just don't understand what it means to be born a nation. I was forced to go against my only friend! I never wanted to hurt Italy… I was forced to make him go to war as well though… Than I was forced to hurt Russia! The two people that understand me the most! I know I can never take back what happened, but I can try to fix the future. Maybe in the future Germans won't be called Nazis; It's something that I can only wish will happen. I don't know if it will or not, but I can hope. Let the German's finally be proud to say they are who they really are! Hate the people not the country… If it weren't for me being stupid… very stupid this would have never happened. I just wanted to help my country! I thought it was what was best… turns out I only made things worse by supporting him. I am so stupid…

~Author

I do wish Germany's wish could come true… I know firsthand that it isn't true though. I went to school with mein Germany cosplays and people called me a Nazi, and asked me if I hated Jews. I said "Are you really that stupid? You will never know the pain of what the Germans where feeling still are feeling! And with you calling them Nazis how horrible that feels? Never say that again. Seriously it's not funny it hurts worse than a knife to the heart!" I may have never been in WWII but I know the pain of what everyone was feeling! Try going to a holocaust museum and stand in a railroad cart that was transporting the people to the concentration camps. Look on the wall see their bloody hands clawing there way out. Now look at the Germans that were forced to do that stuff. The Germans who thought they were doing the right thing because they were raised to think it was! The Germans that didn't want to kill those people, but did it anyways because they were afraid! Nein I have never been in WWII but I still know there pain. The hatred that people had, still have for us! It's horrible! Many people act like there is such thing as an innocent country. Well there isn't, every country has had some personal war or even a major war… That doesn't mean we should hate them for it. And if what I say makes you mad I'm sorry this is how I truly feel. I have pride in saying "I am German! Ich bin Deutsch!" I may not be full blood German, and I may have been born in America (which I do have pride for also) but I know that every country has had its problems may still be having them, that doesn't mean we should hate the people for it. (Sorry about the huge long thing XD please enjoy the rest of the chapters)

~Germany (aka Hungary_chan)


	2. Hetalia Day

~Russia

There is going to be meet up tomorrow. It has been put together to just let everyone talk, and be around all the different countries. I'm thinking about not going, but Lithuania hasn't stopped talking about it. I make sure everything is packed before I head out for America. The meet up was to be held in America in a state called Texas…. I have been told it's very sunny, and I'm not sure what to expect.

I ended up falling asleep on the plane and when I woke up we were in Texas. After we got all our stuff we head to the hotel. It's very bright outside and the warmth of the sun is different than the cold lands of Russia. When we get the hotel and get checked in I fall fast asleep. I dream of the horrible battle with Germany, I see the blood everywhere the hurt and the pain. The hope that the future will be better, that the pain will soon end.

~Germany

It's the day of the meet up. We decided to call it "Hetalia Day." I'm worried about a fight being started, but we all promised to behave. When I arrive many people where already there; there is many different kinds of foods and drinks, and lots of different countries talking. France was busy chasing England shouting something in French. Lithuania was staying far away from Russia, and I realized everyone was as well. Belarus hadn't shown up yet so I decided to go talk to Russia. I hadn't seen him since Stalingrad, and felt like we should talk. I tried not to think about the horrible memories of that day… There was so much blood it was so horrible.

"Hallo Russland." He looked so lonely, no one else wanted to talk to him so I had to. I had to make things right between us. I mean my boss had done something so horrible to his, I wondered if he could ever forgive me…

~Russia

I stood by myself no one wanted me to come near them. I was always used to being alone, but that doesn't take away the hurt of being alone. I was lost in thought when Germany walked up to me. "Hallo Russland." His voice broke me from my thoughts. Someone was actually talking to me; not just someone, but Germany! I couldn't believe that Germany was talking to me. "U-um hello Germany." I was sure what to say. The last time I saw Germany, he was covered in blood crying. Stalingrad was a very bad memory for both of us. I knew that Germany didn't want to fight, but when you are born a nation there is nothing you can really do. War, leaders, political views, all that stuff that tears us apart…

"How have you been doing?" I was surprised that Germany wanted to hold a conversation with me. "Well country wise good I guess." I didn't really know how to answer him otherwise. No one wanted me to be around, they thought I was creepy. "I meant you personally, how are you doing?" Now I really didn't know what to say. Should I tell him the truth? That I was hurting and I wanted a friend baldy but didn't know how to act towards one? Or should I fake a smile and lie? I decided on the second one. I faked a smile and said "Kind of cold at my house, but I have been good. How have you been Germany?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Besides having to babysit Italien and bruder? I guess I have been good." I knew that he was also lieing. I could see the same sadness in his eyes that I felt. The want to have another person, to have someone really love and care about you.

Our conversation was suddenly ended when Italy ran up crying "Doitsu! Doitsu! France-niichan keeps pulling my hair curl and he won't stop!" Germany gave a quick apology than ran off to give France a piece of his mind. I gave another fake sad smile as he ran off. There went my only change to make a real friend…

The rest of the day went by quickly and I felt more sad than when I first showed up. I decided to go back to Russia.


	3. Friends

It was about a week later when I heard a knock on the door. I grabbed my lead pipe scared that it was going to be Belarus. When I looked out the peep hole I saw Germany, and he was holding a giant sunflower! I smiled wondering how he figured out that I liked I opened the door Germany was shivering, he was dressed warm enough for Russia. I hurried him in, and went to grab a blanket.

"Danke." Germany said nervously hiding the sunflower. "I um got this for you Russia." He handed me the sunflower, and I have him a real small smile. "Thank you Germany.

~Germany

I couldn't believe it. I got a smile from Russia! All because I gave him a sunflower. I had asked Lithuania what Russia's favorite flower was, and he told me a sunflower. I had laughed about the choice. It's almost always snowing in Russia, so it's interesting about the choice. "I was worried when I didn't see you again." Russia smiled again as I shivered. It really was very cold in Russia.

"I left the meet up, because I had things to do." Russia was lying I could see it in his eyes. I smiled back at him trying to find out why Russia was lying to me.

~Russia

I didn't really know what to say. Germany just came over unexpectedly. "So um Germany you want something to drink da?" I was hoping a glass of vodka would make things less tense.

"Um… Ja that sounds nice right now." I could tell he felt the weird tension as well. I went and got both of us a glass of my favorite vodka. Skoal vodka, Russia's finest vodka! I handed Germany his glass and sat the bottle of vodka down going to get my own glass. Germany took a sip and gave me a questioning look.

"It's Skoal vodka, best vodka in my opinion." Germany nod and I gulped down half the glass. "So um… Germany what have you been up to? Haven't seen you since…" I paused trying not to think of Stalingrad. "Yeah um… just trying to fix something's, Italy's boss hates me even though it's been a few years… of course most countries still hate me." I could hear the sadness in his voice, I knew exactly how Germany felt. America is still upset about the cold war.

"W-well I don't hate you Germany!" I was telling the truth, I really wish I could be friends with Germany. Germany's old boss might have tricked mine, but that doesn't mean Germany will do that. I feel like Germany can be a great friend. We both have hard pasts, our countries still have anger against both our former bosses, and we both like to drink. "So Germany, why the sudden wanting to talk?"

Germany finished his vodka, pouring more before responding. "To tell you the truth Russia, I want to be friends. Not political alliances, but friends. Person, to person." I couldn't respond I didn't exactly know how to. All I could do was nod


	4. Sunflower cake

~Germany

It has been a year since Russia became my friend. Today was Russia's birthday and I decided to make him a cake. Not just any cake, but a vodka cake with a field of sunflowers made out of chocolate vodka. It took me two days to get all the sunflowers done, but I finally got it. I invited Italy and Japan over to help me decorate.

"Doitsu who are we decorating for?" I had to laugh, Italy really is forgetful. "We are decorating for Russia's birthday Italien." I knew Japan wasn't happy about it, but he didn't say anything. The door bell rang and I saw Russia holding a bottle of vodka. "Hallo Russland! Happy birthday!"

Russia turned his head sideways. "Oh that's right today is my birthday. I never celebrate, or get told happy birthday so I forgot ." When Russia walked in he started laughing. "You actually decorated for me?" I could tell he was happy, I knew no one has ever done this for him. Italy ran over to Russia hugging him, trying not to show how scared he was.

"Happy birthday Russia~!" Japan just nod. Anger obvious in his eyes. I went and got the cake and presents ready while Italy talked to Russia and Japan.

~Russia

I couldn't believe that Germany did all this for me. I could tell Japan was glaring at me, but decided to ignore it. "~Vee Russia what's in the bottle?" Italy asked me so innocently picking it up and smelling it. "It's vodka Italy, would you like some?" Japan sent more daggers at me. "Russia you don't give vodka to Itaria-kun Germany wourd not wike it." I igored him and went to the kitchen to see what Germany was up to.

Germany had candles that he was lighting on the best cake I have ever seen. It had a field of beautiful sunflowers. Germany turned around and found me admiring the cake. I felt a tear escape my eye, and I couldn't help but smile. Really smile not a fake creepy one. "G-Germany it's so beautiful." Germany smiled as he well whipping away the tear.

About that time Japan came rushing in with a drunk Italy following. "You baka! Itaria is drunk now! Imaimashii Kyōsan shugi no!" Italy stumbled falling into Japan. Japan awkwardly held up the little Italian as Germany walked over, and help up Italy. "It's not his fault Japan, Italien just happened to get into the vodka." Japan glared at Germany this time. "Everything is his faurt! He is the reason everything bad happens!"

Japan's words stabbed like a knife. The pain from my entire life came flooding back ten times as worse. "Japan I think we need to talk. Russia I am sorry would you please go into my room bitte?" I only nodded looking down not meeting Japan's hateful glare. I close the door behind me and fall on Germany's bed. How could the best day ever turn into the worst day ever? I feel the hot tears start to flow and I can't stop them. I couldn't stop the memories, the pain. I passed out from exhaustion and woke up to see Germany with a piece of cake.

"I'm sorry aobut that Russia… Japan took Italy home, so that won't happen again… I should have never brought those two over.." I wasn't exactly sure what to say, I wanted to tell Germany it was alright, but how could I when I felt nothing but hate from Japan?

~Germany

I looked at Russia's beautiful violet eyes, they where blood shot red and swollen. I could tell he had been crying while I was gone…

"Russia I'm sorry that Japan did that, I hope you can still have a good birthday." Russia laughed and smiled, "Germany this is the best birthday ever! Even if Japan did mess it up a little." Russia grabbed the cake and took a bite of it. "G-Germany is this… I can't believe it!"

I was scared, did Russia not like it? Did I mess up on the recipe? My thoughts were interrupted by Russia's voice. "How did you know to make this?" I laughed this time; I could tell he liked it. "Well I just looked threw some Russian cook books and found that." Russia hugged me, and my face turned bright red.

"This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you Germany." I decided that this was the perfect moment to finally tell him… I have to..

(Authors note) Yes I am ware that this chapter was short I am sorry DX and I'm sorry if the accent wasn't good DX I am only good at writing Germany accents pretty much XD I hope you liked my story so far please rate and comment :DD

~Germany (aka Hungary-chan)


	5. The truth comes out

(Authors note) Okay so I am going to warn you this chapter is going to be really really short. But I kind of need to make it like that. Once you read you will understand.

Germany (aka Hungary-chan)

~Russia

"Russia… I have to tell you something important…" I paused in the middle of taking another bite of the cake. "Da?" Germany grabbed my hands smiling.

"Russland I can't hide this anymore I just can't… if- if this changes anything between us I'm sorry.." Germany's tone of voice and pause made me a little nervous. What was he going to tell me? "R-Russland I- I love you… I have for a while now… and if it's goi-" I cut him off with my lips. Germany turned bright red than kissed me back.

"Germany I have loved you since our first alliance I just, didn't really know how to tell you. I have never had a friend… let alone a lover…"

~After some heated kissing ~

Germany fell asleep with me in his arms. For once I was happy and nothing could ruin this… or so I thought…

Japan came storming into the room pointing a gun at me. Before I had time to react he said "It's time for you and your communism to die!" Japan aimed right at my heart, and shot me before I could even think. My whole world turned black, and colder than the worst Russian winter.

(Authors note) I am so sorry about this chapter being short DX I had to you will understand soon :D

~Germany (aka Hungary-chan)


	6. Bloody Russian

~Russia

When I woke up I was in a battle field, with a bloody torn up Germany flag in my hand. How did I get here? Japan had just shot me, than I was on a battle field? I could hear screams and there was so much blood and bodies everywhere.

Where was Germany? How did I manage to get here; was this the place people called Hell? This horrible battle field; with so many screaming people, bombs, gun fire? I decided to get up and look around. There were people shouting in German, and some shouting in Russian. I was about to shout out Germany's name, when I spotted his jacket with lots of blood. I ran over to the jacket in hopes to find Germany. There was a bullet hole over the left side of the chest. I looked around hoping to find Germany when I spotted his blond air.

Rushing over to him I saw he was shot and bleeding. I quickly took my jacket off and used it to put pressure on the wound in hopes to stop the bleeding. "Germany? Please tell me your okay…" My voice cracked and I could feel the tears threatening to fall. That's when I heard Germany's slow breath, and saw his eyes open a little.

R-Russia I'm sorry… I tried.. I thought I could take them, but I wasn't strong enough.." Germany coughed and blood came out. "I fought for…" I looked up when I heard footsteps and found the man that started this. He raised his gun as I threw myself over Germany, but not in time. The bullet went right into Germany's skull slowly killing him. All I heard next was horrible screams of pain.

~Germany

I woke up with Russia screaming in my arms. He was covered in sweat and wouldn't stop screaming. I shook him a little to try and wake him up, but not before I heard him yell. "I'm sorry Germany! I'm sorry this is all my fault!"

Russia shook violently, than he finally jolted awake. "G-Germany? Are you real? Please forgive me… I didn't mean to… I couldn't…" Russia was sweating, and his eyes where full of pain. I brushed some hair away from his face, and tried to calm him down. "Shh Russia I'm real, please stay calm and tell me what happened."

Russia clung to me and started crying. "W-we were on the battle field. I had a bloody tattered German flag in my hand when I woke up. I-I found your jacket with a bullet hole in the chest, shortly after I found you… There was so much blood! You kept t-trying to tell me something; you said you fought for something… Than he came and- and he shot you!" Russia put his hand over my forehead. "He shot you right here."

I knew who he was talking about. Mein former boss and fuehrer. Russia's tears fell on me like hot fire. I whipped them away, and kissed him softly. "Ich liebe dich Ivan. Forever, und ever no matter what happens." Russia smiled kissing me back. "Я люблю тебя Людвиг."


	7. Russian lullabye

~Russia

That night I kept seeing the horrible war. So much blood everywhere. Germany walked into the room and climbed on the bed. "Ivan are you feeling okay?"

I was going to lie to him and tell him that I was fine, but I was tired of not telling what I really felt… "Niet I'm not… I keep seeing it Ludwig… It won't go away… it keeps coming back every time I close my eyes…" Germany wrapped his arms around me and started to sing a song. It was a Russian lullaby that my Ukraine used to sing to me to put me to sleep. Although I could hear his German accent it was still wonderful.

"Thank you Ludwig." Germany finished the song and kissed my forehead. "Sweet dreams Ivan. May father Germany watch over you and give you dreams of vodka, and peace."

(Authors note) Yes this is my last chapter I am sorry that this is very very short. The thing about May father Germany watch over you and give you dreams of vodka, and peace came from something my Russia always tells me. "Good night Germany may Mother Russia watch over you in your sleep and give you dreams of nuclear warfare with your enemies." 3 I hope you liked my fanfic, and Ash thank you for always being such a wonderful friend :DD 3 If you didn't understand some of my references or words feel free to message me and ask

~Germany (aka Hungary-chan)


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